


Summertime Sadness

by alphvjensen



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, M/M, Outdoor Sex, Pre-Stanford
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-18
Updated: 2016-06-18
Packaged: 2018-07-15 21:07:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7238509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alphvjensen/pseuds/alphvjensen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Sam…” Dean raised his voice. He never raised his voice. “Just drop it, alright.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Summertime Sadness

“Last summer of freedom, Sammy. Anything you wanna do before the man takes it away from ya?” Dean asked, half jokingly, trying to keep the ever present nagging thoughts silent that he probably would never see Sam again.

Once he became that big shot lawyer, he would want nothing to do with Dean, no matter how many nights they shared tangled in each others arms under the silent watchful moon.

And besides, the expected life span of a hunter that’s been in the life as long as Dean has grows shorter with everyday he wakes.

Dad still didn’t know, probably wouldn’t until the day finally came that Sam finally left but Dean knew. He knew when the read the letters that Sam brought home from school, those half concealed letters hidden in the front pocket of his backpack.

So while dad was away in Michigan on a hunt, they decided to pack up one of the old clunker cars that Bobby still had running and drove out in the middle of some field somewhere, drink til they couldn’t figure out what was up and what was down and pretend that their entire worlds weren’t about to be spun completely around.

“Yeah.” Sam answered, his voice quiet almost as if he were nervous.

“Yeah? And what might that be, Sammy?” Dean asked, propping himself up on his elbow, an amused look on his face but everything in him was willing to do whatever Sam wanted to do. Anything just so he can stay with him a little while longer.

Hell, if Sam said that he wanted to go on some crazed killing spree, Dean would happily follow, cleaning up the bodies and getting rid of the evidence.

“I wanna…I wanna come inside of you.” He rushed over.

Silence feel between the two boys and Dean swore that he felt his heart stop. How many times has he thought, has he wished to feel Sam inside of him.

“I mean, if you don’t want to do that, that’s fine. I get it, it’s just that you always make me feel so good and I wanna make you feel good and…” he continued to ramble on, spouting off reasons, trying to convince Dean, like he needed convincing in the first place.

Dean stared at the bumbling, blushing mess that was laying underneath him and he couldn’t keep the fond smile off his face.

Dean bent down and pressed his lips to Sam’s, cutting him off.

“Shut up, Sam,” he mumbled against his lips. “I’ll do anything you want me to do. All you gotta do is ask.”

Sam’s eyes widened in surprise. Surprise that he wanted to do this. Was more than willing to do this.

Dean grabs the bottle of lube that they’ve already used more than half of and the night was still young and moved to straddle Sam’s hips. Sam watches Dean, eyes still wide as Dean slicks up his brother’s cock.

He had to bite back a moan when Dean slicks his fingers up and reached around his body to get himself ready for Sam.

Sam leaned forward, putting a hand on Dean’s bicep that is still wrapped around his body, his fingers still inside him, opening himself up for Sam.

“I wanna…” Sam’s voice trailed off, still so shy to ask for what he really wanted.

“Yeah?” Dean asked.

“Yeah.” Sam declared, picking up the bottle that laid right next to them and squirts an ample amount into the palm of his hand, over his fingers and reaches around Dean’s body. Dean falls forward, catching himself on his forearms when he feels one of Sam’s long, bony fingers slip inside of him. Sam watches Dean’s face, his bottom lip pulled between his teeth as he brow furrows together in concentration.

Sam knows what he’s doing. Fingers slowly pumping in and out of him, fingers curling and fuck, Dean’s breathing all heavy, his chest rising and falling, staring down at the boy pinned underneath him.

It’s all so much and not enough.

“Fuck…fuck, Sammy. Gotta…gotta have you inside me,” Dean was breathless.

Sam never takes his eyes off of Dean and Dean never takes his eyes off of Sam as he sinks down on top of him and Dean can’t think of any reason why he’s never asked to have Sam inside of him.

It all feels just so right.

Neither one of them want to move, want to forget this moment, forget the perfection that is Sam buried so far deep into Dean that they couldn’t figure out where one boy ended and the other started.

And everything inside of Dean is screaming out that this is going to be the only time that he gets to feel this. That Sam’s gonna leave him and that he’s never going to really experience what his baby brother feels like.

It’s almost as if he can’t breathe anymore.

And then Dean’s crying, body over come with emotions that he couldn’t even begin to describe. The feeling of Sam inside of him, the fear of him leaving, the thought that he’s the reason why Sam is leaving. That he wasn’t good enough for Sam to stay. And Sam stops moving because he thinks that he’s hurting Dean.

They’ve never done this, Dean was always the one that tops, never Sam and oh god, just the thought that he was hurting his brother made his stomach churn.

Sam grabs either side of Dean’s face and pries his head out of his shoulder, forcing him to look at Sam.

His beautiful green eyes rimmed with red stared back at him.

“Dean?” His voice is soft, quiet, barely a whisper. “Are you alright? I’m not…hurting you, am I?”

Dean feels like laughing, he can feel in bubble in his chest. Here he was getting all weepy eyed, crying during sex like some girl because he didn’t want Sam to leave and all that Sam was worried about was that he was hurting him.

“No, Sam. God, no. You’re not hurting me. It feels good, baby boy. So good.”

“Are you sure?” Sam asks, still not quite believing his brother. His forehead was pinched together in worry.

Instead of muttering more words that Sam wouldn’t believe, Dean rolled his hips against Sam’s, both of them moaning out at the feeling.

Their bodies were built for each other, fit together like a puzzle piece and such a pretty picture was created. These two boys wrapped around each other, holding each other, scared to let go for fear that they were going to drift so far apart that they wouldn’t be able to touch again.

Dean bit into Sam’s bony shoulder when he came, his come painting his brothers chest.

Just watching the blissed out look on Dean’s face as his body completely relaxed, they way that his eyes were closed, those lips parted just ever so slightly, the heavy rise and fall of Dean’s chest was enough to send Sam over the edge. Sam dug his nails deep into the skin on Dean’s hips screaming out his pleasure as he came in his brother.

Dean leans down and swallows his name as it leaves his brothers lips, kissing him so hard that when he pulls away he can still feel the pressure on his lips.

Dean lifts himself off of Sam and searches for something to clean his little brother off. Sam stays completely still underneath Dean, watching his face, trying to count the freckles one last time and never forget the shade of green that his eyes were.

Finally Dean threw the shirt somewhere behind him that he had used to clean Sam and laid down next to him. Sam immediately curled up next to Dean, his head resting on his shoulder, fingers drawing obsolete shapes on Dean’s chest.

“You know, you could come with me. Come to Stanford with me,” Sam whispered, not quite looking at Dean. His voice was calm, neutral. He didn’t want Dean to hear just how desperately he wanted him to come with him.

There was a long silence. Such a long one that Sam seriously thought that Dean had fallen asleep, body too exhausted to stay awake.

Sam was about to curl up closer to Dean, curl into his side and try to sleep himself when Dean finally sighed.

“They don’t want me, Sammy. They don’t want some high school drop out screw up. Besides, college ain’t for me. Couldn’t focus long enough to learn anything.”

“Then you don’t gotta go to school. You could find a job at a garage somewhere. Working on cars.”

“No one in their right mind would hire me, Sam. A kid with a GED and six bucks to his name. They wouldn’t want me.”

“And they would be ridiculous not to take you!” Sam exclaimed. “I’ve seen you fix the Impala, find things that even dad couldn’t find. You would be better than most of the people there. Hell, everyone would be wanting you to work for them. It’d be a damn competition to see who would pay you the best.”

“Ah, don’t be dramatic. You ain’t gotta sweeten me up like that, Sammy. I already know I’m pretty.” Dean cracked, trying desperately not to think of the possibilities. He couldn’t leave. Dad was already losing one child, losing both of them…Dean didn’t want to think about what it would do to him. He couldn’t lose his whole family, not after trying so hard to keep it together.

“Shut up, Dean,” Sam sighed, hitting his brother on the arm. “I’m being serious.”

“Yeah and so am I. I don’t belong there. I never will.” The bitterness was evident in his voice. God, if only his kid brother would just drop it and stop digging that knife deeper and deeper into his heart. 

He would never belong. He would always be that nameless face in the crowd. Seen but then easily forgotten. He would never be anything more than that.

“You don’t know that! Please, Dean, please just come with me.“

“Sam…” Dean raised his voice. He never raised his voice. “Just drop it, alright.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thoughts, comments, and opinions are always welcomed.


End file.
